i am not depressed. i am one worn out soul with a bunch of heartbreak who is trying to do the best that she can. i am just so sick of this rut i have fallen into. everything just keeps piling up and somehow i can't even let go of the past. more things have gone wrong than right. and all i wanted was someone to just listen. it sucks. it honestly sucks when you sit there pouring your "gosh darn" heart out to someone you love and just when you think you've found someone who cares, flickering lights of judgmental nonsense ignites in their eyes. you can just see it there, right beneath the surface...truth is they are just one more person who thinks you are a whiny baby who needs to pick up and move on. NEWSFLASH! I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKIN SYMPATHY. i only want you to listen to me, hold my hand, and lie to me. tell me everything will be okay. is that too much to ask for? am i a lost soul? or just solely lost? it only makes matters worse when their comeback is, "well, nothing will happen unless you go to church and you need a personal relationship with God. otherwise you're a hopeless cause."  # 1- yes, church helps, but you do not have to go to church every single week to be a christian. #2 - who are you to tell me that i don't have a relationship with God? ouch. #3? you haven't walked a mile in my shoes and it is so much harder than you know. i didn't ask for "advice" i asked for you to listen.  and i know you will never think of me the same way again. everything has changed between us. i hate this part. all i wanted was an ear. is it true that all i have - is myself?

"do not go where the path leads. instead go where there is no path and leave a trail."

   

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