Weblog
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
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i'm not lost i just don't know where i am
up is down. down is up. right is left. and nothing is right. when did this happen and where am i ? i thought i crossed this bridge ages ago and my head doesn't even know what to think.
Wednesday, 19 August 2009
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me. myself. and i.
i am not depressed. i am one worn out soul with a bunch of heartbreak who is trying to do the best that she can. i am just so sick of this rut i have fallen into. everything just keeps piling up and somehow i can't even let go of the past. more things have gone wrong than right. and all i wanted was someone to just listen. it sucks. it honestly sucks when you sit there pouring your "gosh darn" heart out to someone you love and just when you think you've found someone who cares, flickering lights of judgmental nonsense ignites in their eyes. you can just see it there, right beneath the surface...truth is they are just one more person who thinks you are a whiny baby who needs to pick up and move on. NEWSFLASH! I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKIN SYMPATHY. i only want you to listen to me, hold my hand, and lie to me. tell me everything will be okay. is that too much to ask for? am i a lost soul? or just solely lost? it only makes matters worse when their comeback is, "well, nothing will happen unless you go to church and you need a personal relationship with God. otherwise you're a hopeless cause." # 1- yes, church helps, but you do not have to go to church every single week to be a christian. #2 - who are you to tell me that i don't have a relationship with God? ouch. #3? you haven't walked a mile in my shoes and it is so much harder than you know. i didn't ask for "advice" i asked for you to listen. and i know you will never think of me the same way again. everything has changed between us. i hate this part. all i wanted was an ear. is it true that all i have - is myself?
Monday, 17 August 2009
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Currently
Danyew
By Danyew
Streetlight
see relatedtaking the lead
6,778,115,197
the estimated number of humans on this very planet at this very moment. and every single number counts. notice this number is not rounded to the nearest thousandth, hundredth, even . . . tenth?
i would like to believe that every single human being has a purpose and that each is here at this very moment for a distinct reason. and yet here i sit at my computer, in the middle of nowhere typing out this mad mixture of words that virtually no one will feast their eyes upon. so what is my purpose? i used to ( and occasionally still do ) have this strong nagging voice in my head begging me to become a leader. to just get up and lead. but to where i have no idea and a leader is nothing, or in this case no ONE, if he/she has no vision or destination. is it possible to lead blindly? i suppose we are supposed to follow blindly...
but that is far beyond the point. because you see there is yet another voice, faint but persistent, who only whispers what i have always feared is true. you are just one lousy number that decides if the population is rounded up or down today.
maybe there is one sole purpose for me. maybe i am just a random person with no purpose who only shares the air supply. maybe i am somewhere in between. or maybe, JUST maybe, i have to choose which is true.
do you believe we all have a purpose?
Thursday, 13 August 2009
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Is there a quote you live by or get inspiration from?
"do not go where the path leads. instead go where there is no path and leave a trail."
I just answered this Featured Question; you can answer it too!
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
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Currently
Wonderful/Give Me a Reason
By Gary Go
Wonderful
see relatedfriends, or just ppl that take advantage of you?
just when i thought things couldn't be worse, i saw the world through a new set of eyes. its been a rough summer...and i always lean on relationships to get me through the rough points in life. my family has honestly been falling apart even more than i have and a large majority of my problematic situations have actually stemmed from that area of my life so i feel like i can't even turn to them. which leads me to my closest and dearest friends. i thought i had so many of those...and friends do things for each other, right? just normal. but what happens when that becomes a one way street? i'm just really confused because my last hope, my friends, have more favors to ask of me lately. and it is so hard to walk out the door to meet up with them when you have someone shouting from behind you, "She's just using you you know!!" these dirty seeds are planted in my brain by my most loved family members. is that all i am to my friends? someone to use in time of need? what about my needs? or is this just the superstitious theories of a family not yet ready to let me have my own life? you know, as i start to think about it... it would be nice of them to just once ask me how i am...and now that i think of it, i don't hear that question much. here we go....just when i am at my lowest, realization sets in. or is it just paranoia? why does it seem that all i ever am is used. i wish this was all just in my head. maybe it is. but has this chaotic and vain world seriously spiraled down to the point in which all we really have is ourselves to depend on?
iwnnabursunshine
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- Name: Callie
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 7/23/2007
About Me
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i am just a normal girl lost in this downward spiral of a society who hopes to lead it to a brighter light. and i'm trusting God to lead me.
Pulse
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sometimes when i say i want/need something, what i really want/need is the exact opposite.
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geez. those potato chips are so loaded with fat, carbs, & calories that its a guilty sin to just smell one. lmbo.
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sometimes we only run away to see who will follow us
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